Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
