we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
