I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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