Pappa wants mamma naked
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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