shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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