you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
