I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize