his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
