Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
