I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
