I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
