Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
