I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
as a side note pls kill me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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