I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
