She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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