What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize