Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
