you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize