I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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