i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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