He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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