Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
