but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
