He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
