It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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