Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
