yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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