What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
