Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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