I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
