we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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