carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
