Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
