Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
