I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's just like the Real World with babies
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
