Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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