The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
