Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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