Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
