anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Even my vagina gasped.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
