I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need help removing her.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
