that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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