I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
