i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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