This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
