plz talk dirty to me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
