Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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