She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
