my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize