are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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