so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
