Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
