i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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