You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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