Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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