you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize