Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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