Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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