Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
