the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
