I must be too annoying 4 u.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need moral support for this bender
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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