Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
