fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
