I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
