areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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