What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
