I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
