look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
