my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There's even glitter on my cock...
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