I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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